There are Many Things to be Grateful for In Marriage
Expressing appreciation to your spouse is a BIGGER DEAL than you can imagine! Maybe that is not a strong suit of yours. You know… Being kind and grateful. ☹
Guess what? It is needed and we all should get some seeds of kindness and thankfulness, plant them and nurture their growth.
Even the tiny, everyday stuff, will have an incredible and noticeable effect on your marriage. Enough so that your spouse will mention it to you, or someone else a few times. With kindness in employment, I would imagine that he or she doesn’t mind doing things for you. Even in challenging situations, because you both will remember how much you are appreciated.
Being thankful for your spouse shouldn’t be reserved for therapy or grand gestures on your anniversary. It’s simpler than that – a daily sprinkle of appreciation for the big and small things that make your partner wonderful.
Unconditional love and support are hard to come by. We do some whacky things sometimes; and they leave deficits in our marital accounts.
Laughter and joy (making memories) come when you have someone who makes you smile and laugh out loud. Sometimes every day. That leads to physical and emotional intimacy and the feeling of an enormously deep connection on both the physical and emotional levels.
Here are some areas in my marriage that are huge for both me and my wife. I will indicate an (b) for both, (m) for me and (h) for her, when I list which one is important for us in our relationship. When and if she sees this, I hope she will agree with a few of them:
Financial stability and partnership (B). Building a secure future together and sharing successes and burdens have really been huge as we age.
Intellectual stimulation and conversation (B). We talk about most anything. We try not to get too deep but work at open conversations. Having someone you can engage in deep, meaningful conversations with makes a huge impact, especially on looooooong road trips.
Adventurous spirit and shared experiences (H). I like them, but she LOVES them. She likes new explorations. She will not plan them. That is my area. Experiencing new things together has created lasting memories.
Reliability and dependability (B). Knowing you can count on your partner to be there for you always, goes without saying.
Healthy communication and conflict resolution (M). My peeve. Being able to express my needs openly and resolve issues constructively. When I have done something really stupid or insensitive can and has hurt this area on occasion.
Acceptance and understanding (B). Feeling completely accepted for who you are, flaws and all offers a level of comfort that cannot be defined or stated. We have been hurt and wounded by people. Having a place of safety is vital.
Commitment and dedication (B, but H). Seeing a future together and actively working towards a strong, lasting relationship has been our mission for these twenty plus years. She is the best.
What about you? Do you care enough to work at it, even when it gets bad? Your tires are not always fully aired up and you are riding on a bumpy road today. What do you do? How do you smooth that ride out?
Here are some other areas in our marriage where some things JUST ARE. We are rather good at certain things, and we prefer the other will do them. They have perfected it. The other person helps, but the professional “owns that baby.”
Morning coffee made just the way you like it (H).
A listening ear and a comforting hug after a bad day (B).
Making you laugh until your sides hurt (M).
Remembering little details like your favorite flowers or coffee order (M).
Picking up groceries or doing chores without being asked (M).
Leaving you sweet notes or unexpected small gifts (B).
Saying “I love you” for no reason (B).
Holding your hand or putting an arm around you (B, but H).
Making silly jokes and playing around together (H, but M).
Helping you with a difficult task or project (H).
Cooking your favorite meal or ordering takeout on a busy night (M).
Planning dates, even just simple walks or movie nights (M).
Letting you sleep in or taking over morning duties (B).
Telling you how much they appreciate you (B).
Simply being present and engaged in the moment together (B).
Making you feel heard, seen, and understood (H).
Being your biggest cheerleader and celebrating your successes (B).
Let’s face it, marriage isn’t always fireworks and butterflies. However, the secret weapon I discovered that keeps the spark alive and the love glowing: gratitude.
There are untold Positive Effects of gratitude. Show it and you will see stuff you have not seen before. It strengthens the bond: