Testimonials

A year ago this month (February), I was introduced to a young man who was struggling in many ways. Let's say his name is "desperate."

I received a phone call from a buddy that lives in another state who "met 'desperate' at a marriage conference in Arkansas." They spoke for some time and exchanged information.

After a few months, things had not changed relationally for desperate. In fact, his marriage was in worse shape.
Desperate was combatting anger issues and was unable to get control of it, as it was ruling him.

Now, the wife, 'hurting' had given him "an ultimatum" of sorts. "You get help, or, our marriage is over." She encouraged desperate to "reach out to the fella they met at the marriage conference."

In the conversation, my buddy asked desperate, "if he was willing to talk with a buddy of his who lives near him?" Desperate agreed to speak with me.

I got the call. Desperate and I were introduced and we began communicating. After much texting and telephone conversations, he divulged his "lack of spiritual guidance and communion with GOD and His Son." I encouraged him to fix that broken relationship, and it "could only be accomplished by his surrender and complete submission to the Ways of GOD's Word."

Even then, the anger he was displaying was scaring his wife." "They were together, but not connected emotionally."

I learned that "she had kicked him out of the house." It was in that moment, he realized, "if he did not get it together, all would be lost."

Pornography had been a major factory in their marriage, but at that time, he had been "clean from pornography about a year. Sex was there, but the 'connections that mattered' were not."

You men who are reading this, that connection matters. It is not all about the sexual gratification, but it is more about the marital fulfillment.

When desperate was kicked out, he was given the "ultimatum to get help or else."

He and I continued to communicate.

During the passing days, my wife and I were in communication with his wife. They agreed that is was good for us to have her number. All four of us were able to communicate in the same text group, as they live over an hour from us.

We eventually set a lunch date for them to come to our home and have a conversation, etc.

Nine hours later. Yep... Nine! It was a good discussion and lots of sharing from both couples.

We built a plan. They entered a somewhat semi-structured and guided way forward with some details my wife and I used on ourselves to assist us with counseling ourselves for marriage. They took the same path and we provided some oversight.

They went to a local assembly, where they started in-person marriage therapy. Yep! They were all-in!

Desperate had surrendered his life to Christ a short time prior; and hurting was experiencing hope. They were still living in separate homes but we're very committed to restoration.

They committed to driving here twice per month to attend the "Bridges to the Community (Bridges)" restoration environment.

They've recommitted to one another and their family. During the following months, they experienced many challenges and struggles.


"Desperate" will now be called "faithful"

"Hurting" will now be called "mighty."


1. During their resurgence, they conceived; but the baby was called home to be with the LORD before birth.

The faithfull husband and father walked them through this pain of loss along side his mighty wife. Both of them trusting their loving Father of Creation through it all.

2. A few months later, they conceived again. With this child, the baby was in a dangerous state "Molar Pregnancy."

In this scenario, either the baby, mom or both could be "lost" if the decision was not made to save the mom.

Both of them trusted the loving Father of Creation through it all.

Molar pregnancy:

"A tumor that develops in the uterus as a result of a nonviable pregnancy.

There may or may not be an embryo or placental tissue in some cases of molar pregnancy. If there is an embryo, it's not properly formed and can't survive.

A molar pregnancy may seem typical at first, but most cause symptoms, including dark brown to bright red vaginal bleeding during the first trimester. Severe nausea and vomiting also can happen.

The tumor must be removed to avoid serious complications. Often, molar pregnancies are removed by dilation and curettage (D&C). Rarely, a hysterectomy."

This wonderfully restored bond of "faithful-might" trusted GOD, along with the support of the Bridges environment, now have a 9 month old child who is due in a week or two.

They've experienced a few more challenges since, but they have stayed then course of trust and hope. Soon, we will be in the hospital delivering another addition their family.

After the delivery, the 'faithful & mighty' plan to return to the Bridges environment because, as he put it, "they get fed there, they are refreshed there and they feel connected there."

What a testimony of what GOD can do to, for and through those who are committed and devoted to Him.

Your faithful support enables not only the Bridges portion of Fostering Healthy Communities Non-profit to exist, but every other piece we use to help restore folks to their communities.

Reclusive and shy behavior is characterized by a preference for solitude. Self-consciousness is another aspect of reclusive behavior. We have a young lady in the Bridges environment who has fit this description since I have known her.

Bridges works to assist folks in all manner of ways. It has given her a safe haven to blossom. She is still functioning in a cocooned state, from time to time, but when she interacts, she comes out and resembles the fully arrayed butterfly.

When I mentioned the “changes” I have seen, her response was, “Thanks, I don’t feel like I’ve grown much; and I am still struggling with confidence but I’m glad you feel I have.”

She really is confident, and her growth has been noticed by two others who have shared what they have seen in her as well.

Since confidence and emotional security come when we intentionally develop self-care routines, we can begin working on self-acceptance. She has to learn how to do that a bit more. 

Self-acceptance is important for reclusive individuals.

Here is what else I shared with her. “Your confidence is noticeable. You don't have to talk as much as I do to be confident. When you open your mouth to speak on the Lord, your face and voice changes. It IS VERY noticeable!”

I added, “Your voice is sturdy and strong. When you have delivered what you have to say, you go back to the reserved one. …and that is fine.” 

When hope is all but lost, where will your trust reside?

The past several months, we have walked with a wonderful lady that we’ve known for some time, but lost contact with. She has recently waltzed back into our lives but severely wounded and her legs are weak from the journey.

We learned that her life was upside down and her marriage was in shambles. …and that was a gracious way to describe it. In the years since we had been closer, some poor choices were made, and her marriage was nearing the end.

She decided to make a concerted effort to know the Lord better and in a much clearer manner.

She clung to us and we clung to her. However, her marriage was consistently getting worse. It was so mangled that “divorce” was mentioned, and hate was spewed. What kept them from the actual pursuit was her faithfulness and deciding to fight for a relationship that in 99% of marriages would have been OVER long ago.

Her time with Bridges offered some light and enough reprieve from the darkness and seeming hopelessness, she was drowning in.

However, she maintained her hope. She put her hooks in the folks in the group and we held on to her tightly.

Things are still tough, but they are talking restoration and marriage renewal. She is moving back, and they are starting anew.

There are some paths that still need to be uncovered and conversations to be had, for the restoration hoped for; but the dimness is no longer there, and the hope of healing is in the room.

We have a marriage testimony from a husband just returning from one of the marriage retreats called, the “Weekend to Remember.”  I’ve known him for many years, but it was on a certain night that he shared the struggle in his marriage. In the past, he and his wife spent time with us in and around Passover Events, the local marriage retreat and the Marriage Group.  During one of those evenings, he shared his struggle and knew he needed more. His married life was tough!  Over time, I could see there was improvement in their relationship. …at least from what o could tell.

In 2024, I mentioned the local retreat and the getaway in Tulsa and Dallas.  He was in.  The cool thing was his wife had been wanting to go on a retreat for years. Their time had finally arrived.  She was giddy that he even asked her.

Here is what he said he learned during the event. It really enhanced his approach to his marriage and his wife. This is what he shared:

1. I am responsible for my wife’s well-being. It’s my duty as her husband.

2. Marriage is a covenant relationship therefore marriage is holy (set apart).

3. Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands love your wives as Yeshua loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Has a WHOLE NEW meaning.

4. Am I valuing and treating the instruction to “love my wife as Yeshua loves the church” like I value and treat the other things He has Instructed and Commanded me to do through His Word?

5. Obedience to GOD is not optional, if I proclaim to love Him.

6. Husband and wife are “made” holy in marriage.

What a joy!  We get the benefit and pleasure of not only sharing the husband’s take on the  Weekend to Remember marriage getaway, but some feedback concerning a local marriage group that Fostering Healthy Communities has facilitated over the years. All of these are right here in Oklahoma City.

“I really enjoyed WTR!  It was great to get away for the weekend and I really enjoyed all the sessions.  Each of them was filled with helpful information and I took away few specific things that I can implement in my life, to improve our marriage and my prayer life. 

The weekend was a great balance of fun, laughter, teaching and encouragement.  I also appreciated that they acknowledged the more serious issues in some marriages and gave instruction and direction for them to receive help as well.”  

This sweet couple has attended the RFL (Reaf Family Life) marriage group nights. Those were great opportunities to see inwardly and learn to work on yourself, along with the marriage unit at the same time.  Here is what she said about its impact.

“Before RFL, I would do my devotions when it was convenient for my husband and his schedule.  Now I see that I am a better wife when I spend time with Father first thing in the morning.  It has really helped me to grow with Him.  I feel calmer and respond better to my husband when my time with Father comes first.”