The Love of Your Husband
When do you feel loved by your husband?
<deep breath> The standard by which husbands are to love their wives is without a doubt, a high one. “Just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” -Ephesians 5:25.
The love of the Messiah led Him to the cross. The love of a husband for his wife will involve a similar giving of himself, even if the end result has a similar picture of loss, but the intended purpose was for an immeasurable amount of gain. Such is the nature of true love that it is willing to sacrifice for the loved one. This is the nature of marriage. GOD intends husbands to sacrifice for their wives.
Since Israel was and is the bride of the Christ, it would seem only fitting that Jesus’ first visit to the earth would be for preparing His bride for their life together.
Marriage is a major task. Both parties are to be fixated on the other, while still maintaining their own identity. Love and respect are the key players in this venture. However, loving their wife is the Biblical highest focus for men. Death is involved; and it denotes the concept of both literal and metaphorical senses. The curiously odd thing is, it is often contrasted (compared or closely related) with life.
The inevitable end of all life is death. There is sacrifice. When love leads a person, it is ever more likely that someone will become a relational martyr, and the personal (self) work in this world ends. In marriage, that is what should eventually take place. We’re going to die anyway, so why not die for something good?
In romance, the subject matter tends to fixate on the early stages of relationships, ending neatly with a white wedding or a fortuitous kiss, while eternal commitment is depicted as a single decision.
In a Biblically supported marriage, husbands are expected forego his self to exhibit and to do all of these and then further still, die for the one he pursued and caught.
Being married requires the husband to take action to be strong in ways he had no clue that he was able; and fitted for. He has to make many decisions and in doing so, he must consider his wife and her feelings and what the eventual impact his choice will have on her and their marriage.
As husbands, me must know and understand that it takes a series of events and choices that we take on and eventually choose that will be the reaffirming of our love for our wife.
In the leadership of the husband, we are building a bond that could be stronger than Super glue on skin and even sturdier still than Gorilla glue on whatever it touches.
Your love for her can be done by sharing quiet moments and just being there when she needs you.
Think of what a good relationship entails each day: You go to work, come home, spend the evening together watching TV, doing dishes and planning a vacation to continue this lovefest in another location. Maybe it will take defending her against her enemies “foreign and domestic”. That was a joke, but not so far from the truth. What and whom you defend her from may resemble people and/or situations that your understanding of her tells you, “she is not okay with this” or, “she is unsafe in this environment.” If you listen and watch her, there WILL BE clues. If you knew her to the level of death, she would not have to say many or any words. It will be YOU asking her the questions.
Hubbies, it is our overall responsibility to lead and maintain the stability and direction of the marriage relationship." Certainly, she has her part(s).
See the wives respecting her man post.
Let’s get a bit more Biblical and a whole lot more concrete. GOD's promise to Israel is a central theme throughout the Bible. That agreement reflects His covenantal relationship with the descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. This pledge encompasses land, nationhood, blessing, and a unique role in the Creator’s redemptive plan for all of humanity.
The goal of husbands loving their wives is also addressed. Christ’s goal for Israel—the, Knesset (the ecclesia-the “bride”) is “to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the Word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant gathered people (body), without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless” -Ephesians 5:26–27.
Husbands cannot sanctify their wives exactly like Messiah sanctifies the church, but they can set the spiritual goal of their wives being all that Christ wants them to be. It is then, husbands can, in dedicated service, work toward helping their wives achieve that goal of becoming and being like their Redeemer Spouse.
Husbands who love their wives remember that they are “fellow heir of the grace of life” -1 Peter 3:7
“25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the entire body of those who love Him; and gave Himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the Word, 27 and to present her to Himself as a radiant Kehilla (body of love and dedication), without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of His body, 31 “for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Messiah and the Kehilla. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” -Ephesians 5:25-33
Here comes a slight twist…a contrast even.
Even still, most of us choose not to die for something. We live, although our state of living may be half alive, half dead, half awake, half asleep and never fully engaged in a meaningful, purposeful, fulfilling life. We live in apathy, sarcasm, being suspicious of her, and even callousness in how we treat ourselves and our wives. How then can we get to a way of living in which we are caring, gentle, and fully alive?
What if we asked, “What am I willing to live for?”
What means so much to me that I could consciously, intentionally, and mindfully choose to live for it? What might that be for you? Could this thought be a fairytale and even so quacky that we become lost in despair and hopelessness.
Consider military members who are facing imminent death. Each soldier will eventually realize that what they are willing to die for is what every one of them now wants to live for.
There is tragedy in this destructive way of living to defend your country and at some point, defending an ally. It is in this, our minds ask us, “What are you willing to die for?”
Knowing an answer to this can help us realize, “What we are willing to live for.” If we ask ourselves, “What am I willing to live for?” What would our answers be? We may discover that we truly have reason to live. It may help us to know what to do with our precious lives now, and would want to do tomorrow, if we are given another day.
As husbands, we have a pretty good reason to live. In that life, we may find little ones connected to the bond established with their mom. However, that lady. …your wife, is more valuable to you than a quiver full of arrows.
The Bible also gives husbands a practical way to gauge the authenticity of their love for their wives: are they caring for their wives’ needs in a way comparable to how they care for themselves? “Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church” -Ephesians 5:28–29.
I have heard of this “one-flesh” principle. Have you? When you get married, the male and female who are individuals become bonded together…though not immediately. It does take time, desire and much effort!
Do you recall my usage of Super glue and Gorilla glue earlier?
Selfishness has no place in a marriage. Ironically, as a husband meets the needs of his wife, he will find that he himself reaps the benefits. What do you see as the benefits for the Christ loving Israel and us the way that He has and does?
NOTE: The standard for all of the husband’s love of their wives comes back to Christ’s Love of the body of the trusting and obedient followers of the Ways of His Father (gathered body of Messiah).
Another day without your smile
Another day just passes by
And now I know
How much it means
For you to stay right here with me
The time we spent apart
Will make our love grow stronger
But it hurts so bad
I can't take it any longer
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
Sharing in everything you do
I wanna grow old with you
A thousand miles between us now
It causes me to wonder how
Our love tonight, remains so strong
It makes our risk right all along
The time we spent apart
Will make our love grow stronger
But it hurt so bad I can't take it any longer
(chorus)
Things can come and go
I know but baby I believe
Something's burning strong between us
Makes it clear to me
(chorus)
Sharing in everything you do
I wanna grow old with you