“I Want to Be King”, said the Control Freak
The desire for control may have its roots inside. In some, it may start externally, when someone plants the idea and then feeds it.
Being in control of your life sounds like a positive thing, and in most cases, it can be, but for some people, the need to control everything can become all-consuming.
If you feel the need to control all things and events around you, you may consider yourself a perfectionist, holding yourself (and others) to very high standards.
I can see where men would want to be able to lead well but controlling everything can and will cause untold issues.
“Control Freak,” does that describe you as a husband, father or religious leader?
A control freak is a person who has little problem undermining other people, usually by way of selfish behavior showing itself in the way(s) that he or she acts to dictate the order of things in a particular situation. I have been around a few of those Control Freaks. Me? I like structure and order in what I do. ...especially, as it relates to the work I claim is “the LORD’s.”
These personality led people tend to have an emotional and/or mental need to be in charge of things and people around them, which can stem from deeper issues. I know that I have some signs of being OCD with my personal world, but I have not allowed that to leak into my world in external (societal) business. As a faux obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) dude, I can be a bit eccentric in certain approaches. I like balance and things being equal. Imagine my surprise and slight embarrassment when my daughters (at the same time) noticed some of my eccentric activity in full array. After I went through some of those actions, I looked up and saw (4) eyes staring at me. My response? “I know. It is weird.” Their response? “Yes. A little, but we’ve seen it before.” I then took the opportunity to explain what I could understand about myself and those weird things I allowed to be viewed.
Where are you, reader? Does being in control, control you?
In some cases, it is important to have someone who is a control freak at the helm, such as air-traffic controllers or scientists who are responsible for testing new drugs. However, in fatherhood, the husband role or in that religious environment, the power struggle is ill-fitting. Consider checking these things. Better yet. Ask someone “what they’ve seen of you in those areas?”
Perhaps you tend to have trouble coping when things don’t go to plan or change unexpectedly. You may even find yourself mentally going over the same situations as you seek to regain a sense of control. A person trying to be in a persistent need to control every situation can take a toll on your relationships and mental health.
If...
1. You aren’t a good team player.
2. You believe you are 100 percent responsible for your own success.
3. You invest a lot of time into trying to convince other people to change.
4. You have trouble maintaining meaningful relationships.
5. You spend a lot of energy trying to prevent bad things from happening.
6. You don’t delegate.
7. You lack compassion for people who make mistakes.
You are probably that person. You are most likely, a Control Freak. Maybe you are beginning to believe that you are being defined in this. What now? I am not certain. If you are married to a Control Freak, work for one, or are related to one, you have experienced consequences ranging from constant irritability to uncontrollable anger. In addition to wreaking havoc on everyone’s mental health, being involved with a Control Freak also will waste valuable time and energy eventually. It must be dealt with, or some not so comfortable things will show up.
Let’s hit just a moment on the Controlling Person in the religious environment.
We’ve all seen or heard of churches with “people” (pastors, etc.) who want to control the show. Here are some markers of those folks.
Here is our rendition of “You might be a Control Freak if…”
You’ve been at the church for a while.
You want to know everything.
You don’t listen to opposing views.
You demand to be a part of every decision.
You speak in terms of “some people are saying.”
You see the negative more than the positive.
You’ve often used veiled threats.
You seldom talk about the Word or prayer.
You often focus a lot on the budget.
Tearing down others seems to be in your DNA.
You’ve held unofficial “business meetings” in the parking lot or the local restaurant.
You would never admit that you are controlling.
You don’t believe that “GOD has a say in this. I am the person in charge here.”