A Vow Matters... Not Only in Marriage
Breaking a promise has some really big implications! Once your word has been compromised, “What else is left?!” It would seem to me that the trust that was once there has been ruined and fractured. Sometimes, it is beyond repair. It can be restored, but with the right kind of glue. “Our words are our bond.” Is it not?
Did you know that the word “solution” is related to the word “vow?” Me neither. Breaking a vow is the same as shattering something that was once held dear or invaluable to the one(s) who initially made the declaration.
When it comes to weddings, vows hold tremendous significance. In many of the strongest traditions, wedding vows are not simply a formality, but rather a sacred commitment made between two individuals embarking on the journey of marriage. In the Americas, this is not so true. In many other cultures, it is very true. Marriage matters. It certainly rings true in historical culture.
I will attempt to weave in some vows that cost some folks, and some ways that making vows hurts them dearly. We will tap into some Israeli wedding vows, both traditional and contemporary.
The word "sheber" primarily denotes a state of being broken or shattered, both in a literal and figurative sense. It can refer to physical destruction, such as the breaking of stuff or formations, as well as emotional or spiritual decline, such as the breaking of a heart or spirit. I think you may be getting the picture of the wrong that comes with our words.
In the context of Scripture, "sheber" most notably conveys the idea of judgment or calamity brought upon individuals or nations due to disobedience to GOD. Can you imagine how many vows or promises were broken, when it involved them and Him? What of the empty promises that we say to Him when we need His help and, in the end, WE renege on the deal we made.
The breaking or shattering of objects, cities, or even people was often seen as a manifestation of God's displeasure or as a consequence of sin. The imagery of breaking was powerful in a society where physical integrity and wholeness were highly valued. The term also reflects the fragility of human endeavors and the need for reliance on God's strength and protection.
EX. Jewish wedding vows are rich with symbolism. The chuppah (hoop ah) represents the home you will build together, while the exchange of rings signifies an unbroken bond. Breaking the glass at the end of the ceremony reminds us of the fragility of life and the importance of cherishing their loved ones. The chuppah is a symbol of GOD’s Presence at a wedding and in the home being established under the canopy. Breaking that vow tells GOD that not even His Presence is enough to hold us together.
Psalm 15:4 describes a righteous person as one “who keeps an oath even when it hurts and does not change their mind.”
In Matthew 5, Jesus’ teaching supports this same Biblical principle. Oaths are binding, even when spoken frivolously or privately as part of everyday conversation.
Another word we use is “obligation.” Is it only an obligation though? This could it be an empty pledge as well?
Another word that reveals this idea is “asar”. It means "to bind" or "to tie." Once more, it is often used in Biblical context showing that a person is either going to or has already made a vow.
The term "issar" refers to a person swearing or making a vow to GOD Himself. When this is done, that person has just signified a solemn promise or commitment. It denotes a binding obligation that the individual made voluntarily.
How often has a person made a serious obligation that was not to be taken lightly? They were frequently made in times of distress or as expressions of devotion and gratitude.
Vows were a way for people to express their faith and reliance on ADONAI, and breaking a vow was seen as a SERIOUS offense.
Maybe you will view this new part a bit aggressive, but consider…
In the book of Judges, Jephthah, a judge of Israel, made a foolish vow that “if El Shaddai (Almighty GOD) gave him victory in a battle he was about to face, he would sacrifice whatever first came out of his door when he came home. Jephthah was victorious in the battle against the Ammonites. When Jephthah returned home after the battle, his daughter came to greet him. Jephthah was devastated and stated that he had made a vow to the Lord that he could not break. Jephthah’s daughter asked for a two month “reprieve,” and Jephthah granted her request. The passage then states that Jephthah did to her as he had vowed” --Judges 11:30-35
Jesus also addresses the issue of oaths in the Sermon on the Mount. In Matthew, He teaches, "Again, you have heard that it was said to the ancients, 'Do not break your oath, but fulfill your vows to the Lord.' I tell you not to swear at all. Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No.' Anything more comes from the evil one" --Matthew 5:33-37
This teaching emphasizes the importance of truthfulness and integrity without the need for additional oaths, suggesting that one's word should be sufficient.
James, Yeshua’s disciple, repeats this attitude, "Above all, my brothers, do not swear, not by heaven or earth or by any other oath. Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No,' so that you will not fall under judgment" --James 5:12
This reinforces the call for honesty and straightforwardness in communication.
The Biblical perspective on oaths and vows underscores the moral and spiritual implications of making promises. They are not to be taken lightly, as they involve accountability before ADONAI.
"When you make a vow to GOD, do not delay in fulfilling it, because He takes no pleasure in fools. Fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it" --Ecclesiastes 5:4-5
That is plainly and accurately stated. Do you agree?
Numbers 30:2-14
Psalm 10:7
…back to the wedding vow. The Biblical vows of old are not too far away from the ones in the Land today. These vows symbolize the commitment the man and woman has to each other, their love, and their shared future.
As traditions change, people write their own wedding vows, moving them away from what has been passed down. Many wedding vows today are very unique that reflect their personal beliefs and values.
Psalm 59:12
Proverbs 29:24
Isaiah 24:6
A vow should mean something! DO NOT make one that you are not planning to die for.
Breaking it could lead to a fracture of your relationship, and destruction and collapse of your marriage trust.