(godly purpose) A Conversation with a Funeral Home Husband and Wife Team
Both of them KNEW they were stuck without a true purpose!
“What are we doing?” I can almost hear those words echoing in their minds as they struggled with their livelihoods.
An Abilene, TX couple, both in promising careers, but felt that “this was not it.” I can say more, but instead, we will jump right in.
I learned of these folks on the day my mother-in-love passed, and the “removal” took place. Later that evening, I learned, the “remover” was the husband of this GOD-centered couple team.
It was late on the same night, and the Funeral Home allowed us to stop in anyhow. That was a major start to a wonderful process. My wife and I stopped-in to handle the final arrangements and…
During the planning, etc., I felt the need to have a longer and more informative conversation with the Funeral Director. She agreed. She looped-in her husband. We had the interview about 2-three weeks later.
Before the actual Q&A session, we had a rather revealing and nice conversation. I learned, they were on day one of their vacation. …sitting in Arizona.
They agree, “this career choice is not a normal one.” Having close friends has been a bit tough, but knowing their purpose is what keeps them focused and supportive. Both of them dropped several noteworthy quotes on me during our call. Here is one of them. “Never stop serving one another.” In any marriage, difficult times and stretches will find you. Often times, you will stumble upon them. Covering and supporting the other is always the focus for them.
I did warn them of how many questions were had. However, I ended up adding another three and asking way more than those. I mentioned earlier, they were both in careers that paid the bills, and I gathered, they paid well. However, something was missing. It was the LORDs’ Purpose for them.
Here we go!
#1 HOW DID YOU GET HERE?
W: “I was in church service in a discussion about “purpose”. I was stressed! My jaw was locked and I was afraid.” That night, she was prayed over. She was looking for a better way and was confident that what she was doing was not the purpose GOD had for her. “She felt complacent at the company she was in.”
“Not long after being prayed for, she started having dreams about death and people dying. She began asking questions of the LORD. He told her to ‘wait.’ Not long after that encounter with GOD, her husband approached her about ‘transitioning into the industry of funerals, the dying and death.” It was a done deal. “Within about (4) months, they left their jobs and moved their family to the Dallas (Arlington) area for schooling.”
H: He was a sought-after mechanic, in a field that was rough on the body. His body was FEELING IT. He knew it was time to make a change. “He felt compelled to go into the industry”. The cool thing was, the Father’s Plan already had instructional and financial support ready for him, which ended up being what he and his family needed. The LORD, along with that support had given them the direction required to step out.
Reader, are you following along so far? Are you hearing more than what you are reading?
#2 WHAT IS THE TOUGH PART OF DOING THIS, STAYING CONNECTED AND IN TOUCH WITH THE HURTING AND BROKEN (with the business side of it)
H: “I do the “Removals” (body pick-up) and embalming, I am very busy and that makes for a very bad day.” There came a day when the Spirit of GOD reminded him of the other side with these words. “Even though your day is bad, it is not as bad as the ones walking in to plan the funeral.”
H: “It’s hard, but, it is a needed service. A first impression (going in to remove) is actually a big deal with death as well.”
W: Restoring modesty to the deceased prior to removal is a kindness that will make a positive impression. How the person looks and smells matters very much. There is always a business side of it all. Comfort is visual and personality. Together, that equals and shows that you acre and their loved one will be cared for as well. They matter.
#3 WHAT KEEPS YOU MOVING THROUGH THE DRUDGERY OF CONSTANT SADNESS AND PAIN?
W: “The belief that getting through to the people matters.” Protection by the LORD enables us to walk through it. He keeps me from being or becoming depressed and emotionally overtaken.”
H: “Compartmentalizing things, by separating work from home is how I deal with it.”
Another good quote that they used was, “Do what you gotta do to help somebody”
#4 CONFRONTING DEATH DAILY, DO YOU CONSIDER THE REALITY THAT ONE DAY, IT WILL BE YOUR TURN?
BOTH: “Yes.” “Grief is the cost of love.”
#5 WHAT CONNECTION CAN YOU TWO SEE WITH LIFE AND DEATH?
H: “He bring us in and takes us out.”
W: “GOD.”
H: “Birth and death = the bringing together and likewise, the tearing apart.”
ME: Hope.
#6 HOW WOULD YOU PRAY FOR YOUR SPOUSE DURING THOSE HARD MOMENTS?
Both of them took turns sharing what they would say, along with the occasional pause to reflect on the strength of their mate. After they finished, I asked them to do it for real. <smiling> I then asked, “Who is praying first?” The wife tossed hubby out in front to lead. I loved the “move.”
It was a sweet moment. Neither of them saw it coming. That is how I roll!
#7 WHAT MAKES YOUR COMPANY DIFFERENT THAN THE REST?
W: “We are not saying we are better, but I know that we truly want to help people through it all.”
I asked them to answer and define this question. I gave them a week to consider and work together to answer it.
#8 WHAT IS THE LIFE BEHIND DEATH?
I asked them to answer and define this question as well…
#9 WHAT IS THE BLESSING OF THIS JOB? WHY?
It all started when, my wife and I stopped-in to handle the final arrangements of her mother’s memorial and body processing. The entire process was much smoother than I thought it would be. We exchanged more than pleasantries throughout the process and even shared many moments of laughter. Yep, even on this night. We ended the night with hugs and the promise of an interview.
What a team. What a pair. “What a Mighty GOD we serve!”