Burying My Mother-In-Love

Accepting our mortality offers quite the challenge. Death is one of the unavoidable parts of the cycle of life. It is certainly THE single most impactful event of a life that changes everything.  Even in this reality, many of us do everything we can to avoid accepting our humanity. Coming to terms with the inevitability of death can help teach us to live more fully in the here and now. In fact, being mindful of our mortality can enable us to cherish every moment of the transient life we have.

On 27 March, my wife’s mom passed into eternity. Woo! It was a long battle watching her struggle over the years. It was tougher watching my wife and how she was working to assist her in all the ways she could. It was well over (8) years of impending death that had us all “captured”.  We lived (5) hours away from her and you can imagine the toll it took on our finances and bodies. …not to mention emotions and mental states.

Emotions that come with grief are said to be numerous. Here are those I can attest to:

• Sadness

• Loneliness

• Numbness

• Fear

• Helplessness

My mother in “love” was a tough lady, but in many ways, she loved hard.  She had her opinion, as we all do, but hers caused you to “feel” them. She did not hold back on the words she would use. You understood what she felt. She was not always easy to deal with but loving her was not difficult at all. Rebellious and obstinate in nature, she was!

She was loveable; and honestly, she loved hard. Sometimes there were strings attached. When she made enemies, she kept it like that. The funny part is, she had her moments when she was not happy with me and my approach and forwardness. That was okay. She eventually got the message. I understood her and I think she knew where I was coming from. She was “good people”— to me. She was funny in her ways. Really. She spoiled me in circumstances that surprised my wife and her younger brother. I did not ask for much, but when I did, I often received it.

She knew I loved her and her only daughter!

I had never experienced death in person, until then. It was different and serene. We had a room filled with people and tears abounded, but no one lost composure. It was sweet and comforting.

All I could do was hold my wife, her daughter, and allow the Spirit to console me through tears. My arms seemed to be enough at that moment for my wife, but I knew that I was only the band-aid for her emotions.

The only other folks I consoled and held were her two brothers; and watched as the rest of the family comforted one another.

My wife and I spent the remaining portion of the afternoon and evening waiting and planning the final remembrance event. …another late night!

Yeah… A person’s death is a peculiar event. My mother-in- love’s certainly was. It proved to be a relief for those who knew her long-fought plight. We knew that what she endured in the physical was now over.

We shall see what she and Her Creator had worked out.  They are the only two who know.